Pleh

Sunday night, I decided to sacrifice the body and see if the bugs were still a problem in our master bedroom. Joe, our exterminator who we’ve spent way too much time with, tried a couple new things again, suggested we try a different wrap for the box spring, then wished us luck. On the 11th of last month.

We really want to be back in our bedroom (we’ve been in the guest bedroom since mid-to-late July), but by now, our optimism for hitting upon a solution is so low, we really don’t really even want to bother with trying. Of course, we’ll remain in limbo like this until we check (Schrodinger’s bat bugs?), so check I do.

One helpful hint Joe gave us was to set an alarm for about two hours after you go to sleep. This gives the bugs enough time to smell your CO₂ and head out, yet not enough for them to take too many blood “donations.” The last time we checked, I think I only had one or two bites. This time, I wound up going to sleep a bit after I expected, so I was only in the bed for less than two hours, which I guess is a good thing, since I had four or five bites. I only found one bug (on the headboard), but where there’s one, there are more.

Where to go now? While I was recovering from my all-nighter yesterday, Joe called. He wanted to possibly bring some of their PHDs over to check things out. He suggested either keeping the mattress and box spring outside in sub-30 degree weather for three-plus days, which should kill both the hatched bugs and the eggs. The problem with this is that we haven’t had any constant, really cold weather. I’m not even sure if the coldest we’ve had this autumn has been under 30 degrees.

The other suggestion was to ditch the mattress and box spring. I love the bed in our master bedroom. Well, aside from the bugs. The mattress is just perfect. Not too soft, not too firm.

He didn’t say it, but I’d think that while we were at it, it might be a good idea to replace the bedframe too. He might be thinking that with all the poisons he’s put on it, there could be no living bugs there, but I’m not sure I’d like to risk it because if he’s wrong, we’re back to the same problem. Of course, if he’s wrong about the bugs not being able to come from anywhere but the bedframe, mattress, or box spring, then we’re also back where we started.

Overall, replacing the whole bed will probably cost somewhere north of $1000. We can swing it, but there are many other things we’d rather spend it on.

Pleh.

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